Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
