this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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