Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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