I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
