An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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