If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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