6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you made out with another girl for some wings
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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