We're like a lot better than the average bears
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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