And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i now understand why vodka
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize