i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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