yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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