Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
