shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
