You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
