dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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