i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he thought i was a dude.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
