How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
