There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
