Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
