NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
