wanna go halves on a baby?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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