The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
