Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't deserve a penis
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
