Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
