Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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