Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
