he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want nice things and good sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
