i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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