I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ttyl tear gas
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
