Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
