So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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