No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
