I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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