6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
