The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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