Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
