I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
