census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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