I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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