so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
