Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
