I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
