So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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