I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
