out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
