I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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