just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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