Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
