They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
