He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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