Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
