the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
