that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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