no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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