yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
