This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
