We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
