I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
