Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
