Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
