Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
