i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I AM VODKA MAN
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
