he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
