brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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