I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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