My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
