you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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